EL FILTH!! via Google Translate.

So another transfer window has barely opened and I am already sick of the endless rumour, speculation, lies and will he won't he.  Clicking on spurious sites to read absolute bollocks about who's leaving/arriving, and trying to decipher the Cesc stories in the Spanish press through the insanity of Google Translate.


I've often wondered do football fans in other countries have to suffer through the weird adjectives and bizarre language like we have to, so this is my version of their hell.  Enjoy...

                             Fabregas Goes Home To His House?

Barcelona have told today, in a radio, Cesc Fabregas is a lunatic who wishes to end all the shouting by returning to the house where he was born as a baby.

Fabregas, of the Arsenal, is sad to be without a trophy as his childless friends have once again captured the Champions League, once again.

Arsenal controller, Arsene Wenger ejaculated furiously,

   " Fabregas is in my engine, and perhaps we have business with Real Madrid but for millions of Euro"!

Pep Guardiola has shouted loudly at the papers with his captain, and Barcelona have a budget.

Barca heroes, Puyol and Pique are lovers and have cried about him.

A man who speaks has said maybe this summer, it might not happen, but has difficulty closing his door.

                                Nasri Tries To Escape!

Arsenal player who is tricky, Samir Nasri who is a Frenchman and can be in the middle or wide right, is saying he will not write his name until Arsenal make him rich.  But there is a twist that has come out, with Rio Ferdinand says he wants to love him at Manchester United.  Patrice Evra, ( also a French Player for France), has urged Nasri to love him also, because they have beaten the Premiership.

Nasri has given abuses to a man on Twitter to who he said,
         " Come on my face and say that, you c****,,,,, er,,,,,,* " !

A man who speaks, says nothing!

                               5 Million For Clichy, You Are Laughing At Me!!

Defender of Arsenal,Gael Clichy, has been buggered by Liverpool for 5 million.  Clichy who like the other French, has refused to write a contract for an Arsenal man, is said to be sad.

Wonderings have begun at Arsenal about who will make them happy if he leaves.

Scotland man, Kenny Dalglish, who couches Liverpool has remained tight in his lips, after the team has also signed a man (Henderson) from Sunderland.  The man is said to have two feet and paid 20 million to the Mersey.

                             Jenkinson Writes On Paper for Arsenal.

A man is blowing a trumpet when Charlton the Athletes player Carl Jenkinson arrives for 1 million pounds.

He likes the team the big man said and his Grandfather for 40 years.

He can play in three places and is very cross.  He also likes drinking and Tony Adams.

A man took his picture on Tuesday and a man who speaks says Hello!

Come on us again, next week at a different time, for more news about a player and a man from France.

Up Your Arse!!

No More Heroes Anymore !

Tucked away in the last chapter of Arsenal legend Eddie Hapgood's autobiography, 'Football Ambassador',  is an extraordinary letter.  The letter is from Red Army Lieutenant Alexander Divochkin, captain of the Central Red Army House Team ( later to become CSKA Moscow ) and Hero of the Soviet Union.  He starts by recounting how he followed Hapgoods career with Arsenal and England with great interest and his sense of comradeship with a fellow footballer and 'fighter of fascists',( Hapgood was in the RAF ), before going on to describe, with great humility, how he earned his Hero of the Soviet Union.

In July of 1941, Divochkin was second in command of an artillery battery outside the city of Petrozavodsk, when a far superior German force attacked from the forest on the outskirts of the city.  The Soviets under a massive bombardment from artillery and mortar suffered terrible losses ( a whole platoon was wiped out in twenty minutes ) including the battery commander.  Without food for two days the situation was extremely desperate when Divochkin took charge.

He rallied the remaining troops and they had just begun to counter attack when an enemy shell exploded dangerously close to their ammunition setting the brushwood alight.  Divochkin began dragging the high explosive shells out of the path of the fire while continuing to fire at the enemy when his gun was hit wounding him in the process.  He quickly moved to another gun, still dragging the ammo out of the fire, when that too was hit wounding him again.  He dragged two artillery pieces into position, and firing both guns alternately managed to push the Germans back to the tree line.  He kept this barrage up for a further twelve hours until his unit was reinforced.

Divochkin went on to fight in the Battle of  Kursk, and took part in the campaigns to liberate Ukraine, Hungary, Austria and Czechoslovakia from the Fascists.  He was awarded the Order of Lenin 1st and 2nd class, declared a Hero of the Soviet Union and promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.  He died suddenly in 1946 aged just 32.  In his letter to Hapgood he said;

  " Give my compliments to your club friends and tell them that our sportsmen are fighting
     in the front lines with redoubled energy, and in each of us burns the desire to wipe the 
     Fascist rascals from the face of the Earth."

Shortly after the war, in November 1945, Moscow Dynamo came to England to play 3 games amid much hype and excitement.  They beat Cardiff City 10-1, then drew with Chelsea 3-3 at a packed Stamford Bridge, before taking on Arsenal at White Hart Lane ( Highbury suffered severe bomb damage during the Blitz ).

The game kicked off in heavy fog amidst controversy over Arsenals strengthening of a much depleted squad, with several players from other teams ( including Stanley Matthews ) added at the last minute.  The referee refused to abandon the match despite zero visibility, arguing that the opposition had come all the way from Russia, and the game went ahead quickly descending into farce when Arsenal had a player sent off for fighting   who promptly sneaked back onto the pitch unnoticed.

Dynamo went on to win the game 4-3 despite Arsenal losing their keeper who had bizarrely knocked himself out when colliding with the upright, he was replaced by a member of the crowd.

Years later it was discovered that the star player for the Soviets, Vsevolod Bobrov, was not even a Dynamo player but instead belonged to bitter rivals Divochkin's Central Red Army House Team, Dynamo were the team of the Secret Police.

Now, when I look at our crest and I see the cannon, I think of Alexander Divochkin, defending a hopeless position against all odds.  I think of Eddie Hapgood, and the connection those two men felt across war ravaged Europe.  Comrades in battle. Forever entwined in War and Football.  Last word then to Hapgood;

" There was a feeling, that, once you put on an Arsenal shirt, nothing could go wrong, that your team was better than all the others.  'Arsenal Atmosphere' it was called by those on the outside, but we knew it was team spirit, an indefinable something which carried us to the heights, kept us there, and which won us games, that by all laws and rights, we should have lost ".