Gooners Promise to Endeavour to Persevere!

Ah well, another season has come and gone, leaving us all a bit flat. Gone for ever the heady promise of last August, the football fans pre-season hope, the pernicious referees, the 4 goal leads, the defensive collapses, the inevitable litany of injuries, promise collapsing to inevitable failure.

This season saw Arsene deviate from his usual policy of playing the second string in the Cup games in an attempt to garner any kind of silverware to placate the heaving masses, we fielded stronger sides than usual but ended up with the same result. Fuck all! If you throw a bone to a dog he will catch it, but if you throw more than one bone he will try to catch them all, and end up catching none. I hope next season we just concentrate on the Premiership, after all thats the one trophy we want. Fuck the Champions league, there I've said it, time to just catch that one juicy bone.

Highlights of the season, the emergence of Wilshere, Sczcezny and a fit Van Persie. Beating Utd, City and Chelsea, that incredible night against Barcelona, when the Landlord of my local rushed his dinner to get behind the bar thinking the Pub was packed when there was only 7 of us Gooners, making enough noise for 50!!

The low points, everything else.

Everybody remembers when they started supporting a particular team, in Ireland its usually based on success, after all nobody wants to support losers, thats why I feel these last trophyless seasons have had a severe effect on potential future fans. Picture the scene in the playground,

 > My team has won the League again and are in the Chamions league final..


 > My team won the double last year, ok this year we finished second but we are going to buy loads of brilliant new players and we will be back with a vengeance next season.


 > My team are trophy-less again but thanks to prudential financial management are once again in a healthy position going forward!


 > ........?


> Lets beat him up.

We are losing these fans of the future and we are losing them at an alarming rate, and when you lose fans you will inevitably lose players as well.

This morning I received my Red Membership renewal form in the post. Enclosed was a form letter from Le Boss which began with "Dear John" to make it seem personal. One paragraph stood out for me,

" During next season, you will experience some very special moments, for example, we will be playing in a kit with an anniversary crest that honours our founding fathers at the time when they came together in the Royal Oak pub in Woolwich to form what we know today as Arsenal Football Club."

On reading that paragraph I was immediately reminded of the scene in The Outlaw Josey Wales in which Chief Dan George tells of his encounter with the government in Washington..

 > They brought us up to Washington and the Senator told us we should Endeavour to Persevere..the papers had our picture on the front with the line "Indians Promise to Endeavour to Persevere". We went back home and we thought about it for a long time..Endeavour to Persevere...and when we had thought about it long enough...we declared war on the Union.

Man Utd and Their Part in my Downfall !!

Here, in Ireland, we say you can't throw a stone on the street without hitting a Man Utd fan there are so many of the fuckers about. I hate them in that gloriously irrational football way, profound hatred, I can only give you a vague illustration of it like this...

> People of Earth we have come from a dubiously named planet in some galaxy far away, we come because we have long been admirers of the sport you call Football and we wish to offer you a challenge, our greatest team against your greatest team, Manchester United. If your team wins we will give you all our technology, interstellar flight, unlimited resources and the secret to eternal life. However if your team loses your entire population will be subjected to slavery for all time. People of Earth what say you to our challenge?


> What kind of slavery?


> What?


> What kind of slavery? Basic denial of all freedom or mining for some madey up mineral on some Moon with big, ugly blokes with whips?


> The first one, the denial of freedom thingy.


> That doesn't sound so bad. Come on the aliens, batter the scum!!

Yes thats how much I hate them. When we beat them last week there was one Man U fan in the pub, yet yesterday there was hundreds of the fuckers, they kept popping up everywhere, in the smoking area, in the loo, patronising me, sneering bastards.

At the end of our game I turned to make a point to my fellow Gooners and was immediately shouted down and accused of always defending Wenger, which I never do by the way, the mood amongst the Gooners is decidedly ugly at the moment and probably going to get worse over the summer, what with price increases etc. How the fuck can my red membership go up by 33%!! Plus 6.5% increase on tickets!! Now fair play if the money is reinvested in the team but if they think I'm paying extra to keep Denilson and Bendtner in caviar sandwiches they can fuck right off!!

Ok we have Stan Kronke taking over and he assures us that Arsenal will not be liable for any loans he may have taken to facilitate his take over and we must believe him right? I mean if you can't trust an American billionaire then who exactly can you trust...eh?

Anyway thank God theres only two more games before the torture is over for a few months, then 'tis summer and the Hurling is back. For those of you who dont know what Hurling is think of Stoke with clubs. Tipperary,my home county, are all Ireland champions and this brings me nicely to a player I think we should sign this summer, Readings Shane Long. Now before you all start going apoplectic think about it. He played hurling ( 2 all Ireland minor titles) so he's nearly impossible to knock off the ball he's scored 26 goals this season and in Irelands recent friendly with Uruguay reduced their captain to tears. I reckon we'd pick him up for around two million!! Small change for Stan.