Man Utd and Their Part in my Downfall !!

Here, in Ireland, we say you can't throw a stone on the street without hitting a Man Utd fan there are so many of the fuckers about. I hate them in that gloriously irrational football way, profound hatred, I can only give you a vague illustration of it like this...

> People of Earth we have come from a dubiously named planet in some galaxy far away, we come because we have long been admirers of the sport you call Football and we wish to offer you a challenge, our greatest team against your greatest team, Manchester United. If your team wins we will give you all our technology, interstellar flight, unlimited resources and the secret to eternal life. However if your team loses your entire population will be subjected to slavery for all time. People of Earth what say you to our challenge?


> What kind of slavery?


> What?


> What kind of slavery? Basic denial of all freedom or mining for some madey up mineral on some Moon with big, ugly blokes with whips?


> The first one, the denial of freedom thingy.


> That doesn't sound so bad. Come on the aliens, batter the scum!!

Yes thats how much I hate them. When we beat them last week there was one Man U fan in the pub, yet yesterday there was hundreds of the fuckers, they kept popping up everywhere, in the smoking area, in the loo, patronising me, sneering bastards.

At the end of our game I turned to make a point to my fellow Gooners and was immediately shouted down and accused of always defending Wenger, which I never do by the way, the mood amongst the Gooners is decidedly ugly at the moment and probably going to get worse over the summer, what with price increases etc. How the fuck can my red membership go up by 33%!! Plus 6.5% increase on tickets!! Now fair play if the money is reinvested in the team but if they think I'm paying extra to keep Denilson and Bendtner in caviar sandwiches they can fuck right off!!

Ok we have Stan Kronke taking over and he assures us that Arsenal will not be liable for any loans he may have taken to facilitate his take over and we must believe him right? I mean if you can't trust an American billionaire then who exactly can you trust...eh?

Anyway thank God theres only two more games before the torture is over for a few months, then 'tis summer and the Hurling is back. For those of you who dont know what Hurling is think of Stoke with clubs. Tipperary,my home county, are all Ireland champions and this brings me nicely to a player I think we should sign this summer, Readings Shane Long. Now before you all start going apoplectic think about it. He played hurling ( 2 all Ireland minor titles) so he's nearly impossible to knock off the ball he's scored 26 goals this season and in Irelands recent friendly with Uruguay reduced their captain to tears. I reckon we'd pick him up for around two million!! Small change for Stan.