As I wound my through the expectant ambulances at London Colney, I was palpably, shaking with excitement. I caught sight of the great man resplendent in the spring sunshine, arms folded locked in conversation with a well dressed man with a clipboard who listened attentively. I couldn't help but eavesdrop..
> Yes, we have had setbacks, but I firmly believe that we have the conviction and the strength to fulfill the promise of these young players, I believe we have the character to fulfill our destiny, and we have the mentality and the fight to do so.
> Erm...thanks very much!
Arsene turned and greeted me with a friendly smile and a firm handshake.
> Hello John welcome to Arsenal.
> I'm sorry I'm a bit early Arsene, I didn't realise you had other interviews.
> Who him? No he's just here to read the meter, shall we get some lunch?
The plush executive dining room was empty, save for an extremely fat gentleman in a Man Utd shirt who appeared to be eating a whole calf with chips, he looked over towards Arsene and made a throat cutting gesture. A very surly waitress took our orders. Arsene had...
> A bowl, I believe, of strength and character, and we have targets certainly, and while there may be setbacks we have, I believe, the character in this team, of Oxtail soup, please.
I just had coffee. On with the interview...
> So Arsene, out of three competitions, long list of injuries, season in the balance, what hope can you give to the fans that we're not going to end this season empty handed?
> Well, I believe this team has the strength to go on and fulfill their belief and their strength and that is one of their strengths. We will be stronger and have learned lessons to have the character and the strength to be strong, and we firmly believe that we have the self belief to be strong and that's why we have signed Ted Drake until the end of the season, for his strength....Ha I see you choke in surprise and admiration .
> Ted Drake?
> Yes, a very strong player with character and strength. We have a very young team, strong with belief, and I believe the strength of our belief will show our character and strength, with Ted who was strong and full of character, and self belief.
> But isn't he dead?
> Yes, and obviously a few games away from match fitness ( regular readers will see what I did there ) but I firmly believe he will make a big contribution to the rest of the season due to his strength and his self belief.
> But Arsene, the fans have been crying out for investment in this team, how will you justify this to them?
> Ted Drake, I believe, was one of the most successful strikers of this club, with his strength and his belief, and that is what I want my players to have, that enthusiasm and character and belief!
> So will you start him straight away?
> Good God no! We are going to give him his own Twitter account.
> Twitter?
> Yes! I believe when things are going badly for the team, when the fans don't believe, then our strength will be pictures of Ted Drake with his shirt off and pictures of him and Jack Wilshere playing FIFA 11, this I believe is what our fans want.
> But thats crazy...
> Is it? I've just re-signed Lehmann, and he's retired!!
> But Arsene with ticket prices about to rise next season what do you say to those fans who think any profits should be reinvested in the squad?
> Ah, but they have. The board have taken the profits from last year and backed us to win the Premiership at 7/1!!
> Thank you Arsene, and by the way that fat bloke just spat in your soup!!
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